Wednesday, October 17, 2007

The 10 Most Asinine Movie Twist Endings

Ever since The Sixth Sense, Hollywood producers have been trying to capitalize on its success by distributing horribly illogical twist endings, hoping desperately to recapture what made the film such a surprise hit. And fail as they might, that certainly hasn't stopped them from continuing to try. Adam Quigley investigates. We should warn you, there are spoilers below. Not that you would ever want to watch the movies to begin with, we should just warn you because the twists are so stupid that reading about them might actually impair your motor functions for the next couple of hours.
The car crash at the beginning of the movie was the only real event, with the main character, Henry, having hallucinated the rest in the midst of death. Weíre going to assume this is due to all the acid he took before the car crash, because thatís the only way of explaining the incoherent mess he sees in the moments before death.
Apparently too busy sucking themselves off over the stylish transitions and slick effects to bother with actual plotting, the makers of Stay created a movie with a plot outline that was actually already used in a Saved by the Bell episode (Rockumentary). There is literally less than 10 minutes of the movie that actually occurs. Youíd figure that with only 10 minutes of stuff that actually, you know, happens, theyíd have managed to at least get that part right. Instead, we get two complete strangers hooking up immediately following a horrible car crash. This apparently happens because they're the same people that got to know each other in some dudeís dream. Weíre assuming this was supposed to be some artful statement about death and dreams and seatbelt safety. But, expecting an audience to care about two people whose personalities were imagined by a man clearly under the influence of some sort of psychotropic drugs is pretty ridiculous (basically the equivalent of making the last 10 minutes of The Doors a subplot about the Indian getting it on with the Lizard King).

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